Letter #4: Holidays
Dear friend,
There’s just something about holidays and anniversaries.
Within three months of my husband leaving, we had 4 birthdays, Easter, Mother’s Day, Memorial Day, Father’s Day, our anniversary and the 4th of July. On July 5th, I exhaled and readied myself for Round 2 of Labor Day, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s Eve, New Years Day and don’t forget the Super Bowl!
What I probably took for granted pre-discovery was that holidays are mostly family focused. At the very least, they are couple-focused with historic expectations of joy, celebration, relaxing, connection and that remembered feeling of happy anticipation. Clearly, Christmas makes Memorial Day look like a picnic; but these are practical seasons that circle back each year ~ so we need our sea legs or else we will find ourselves adrift and without a plan. Before long, you will have your own go-to’s for managing these days. In the meantime, I’m happy to share mine…
If these are early days/weeks/months, feel free to do absolutely nothing! I could barely breathe much less be in a crowded 4th of July parade! There’s a season where the disparity of how we ache inside next to the laughter of others is just too much to bear.
Let someone know this is a tough holiday. We don’t need to shoulder these feelings alone. People really do care. Just talking about how you feel can be a relief.
Remember that someone, somewhere is feeling like you do! Their circumstances don’t have to be the same~but others have lost their dreams and can relate. Ask the Lord who you should call, and He will bring a name to mind. He’s behind the scenes ministering to so many through the kindness of His people.
Do something for someone. Relieve the mom with young kids, make the meal, chat a little longer with your neighbor. Get outside of you ~ not in a way that forgets or denies what’s true, but exercising that muscle will remind you of the truth ~ Jesus is carrying you, you are not alone, and you are getting stronger!
Find something that brings you joy. And do it with gratitude! Put the flowers in the vase. Play the music. Take the walk. We don’t have to look very far to realize that we truly have beautiful lives regardless of the circumstances.
Hang onto this: anticipation is usually worse than the day itself! This is 99% true!
And if all else fails, remind yourself that this day you’ve dreaded only lasts for 24 hours. Tomorrow is a new day. Your beautiful life will indeed go on.
Hold your head high,
Your Friend
“I’m sure now I’ll see God’s goodness in the exuberant earth. Stay with God! Take heart. Don’t quit! I’ll say it again. Stay with God.” Psalm 27:13-14 (The Message)