Letter #3: A sound mind

Dear Sister,

The moment I could prove to myself that my husband was lying to me, I had two simultaneous feelings that may not make sense at first read: terror that made my body quake with fear, along with  a deep sense of profound relief that I had not lost my mind. While my heart felt a level of pain I never knew existed, my brain clicked into gear like a sophisticated computer. The fog lifted instantly. Things that were so confusing now made sense. I’m not crazy. I don’t have early onset dementia. Those were lies. This is the truth. I can trust my gut. 

Sadly, my restored mind could also see the future horror of what lay ahead for me, for my children, for our families and even for my husband. Down to the details of future weddings, birthdays, holidays, and just the everyday ease of my marriage and family ~ it had the potential to all be destroyed. 

What I didn’t know at the time was how many years of healing would be needed and are still needed. When your reality is skewed for so long and you live as if that reality were true, it does damage. It takes reprogramming, active and honest evaluation. I’m still in that process but I see the light. You will too.

Love, 

Your sister on the journey

“God is your refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore, do not fear, though the earth gives way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea.” Psalm 46:1-2